How NOT to pick up women (in Danish)

September 11, 2017

 

A short tale of romance, embarrassment and heartache. 

 

The two boys (de to drenge), Jakob and Troels, were relaxing (slappede af) in the shopping centre. It's one of their favorite things to do, but only because the place if full of lovely girls (skønne piger). Troels noticed a tall brunette walking towards them, take a look (prøv at se!), said Troels as he gave the girl the elevator stare (elevatorblikket). I want to talk to her (Jeg kunne godt tænke mig at snakke med hende), are you coming with me? (kommer du med?) But Jakob felt exhausted (udmattet). No, I am not up to it, I'll stay here (Nej, jeg orker det ikke. Jeg bliver her).

 

Hey, I noticed you like The Rolling Stones (Hej, jeg lagde mærke til, at du kan godt kan lide The Rolling Stones), said Troels as he stared at the girl's t-shirt. That t-shirt looks perfect on you, that's for sure (det er sikkert). The girl felt very puzzled (forundret) and a little frightened (forskræmt). I can't be bothered to talk to you (Jeg gider ikke at snakke med dig), replied the girl, go away! (gå din vej!)

 

But Troels was persistent. You look lovely, can I get your number? (Du ser dejlig ud, må jeg få dit nummer?) The girl became annoyed, no, you can't, leave me alone! (Nej, det må du ikke, lad mig være!) Come on (kom nu) pleaded Troels, your eyes shine beautifully like diamonds, are you on Facebook or Skype? (Dine øjne skinner smukt som diamanter, er du på Facebook eller Skype?) Now she was out of patience and screamed and Troels, can't you at all understand what I'm saying? Shut your mouth!! (Kan du slet ikke forstå, hvad jeg siger? Hold din kæft!!)

 

 

 

Troels tried to rack his brain (at lægge hovedet i blød) and find something to say. I had the impression that you were sweet, but actually you are mean! (Jeg havde indtryk af, at du var sød, men du er faktisk ond!). The girl looked at him in amazement, May I ask you something? (må jeg spørge dig om noget?) she said. Of course you can! (selvfølgelig må du det) replied the broken boy. Are you absolutely crazy? (Er du fuldstændig sindssyg?) she asked. Dammit, you are a waste of time! (Øv/for pokker, du er spild af tid!), shouted Troels, why are you taking the piss out of me? (hvorfor tager du pis på mig?) The girl started to become irritated (at blive irriteret). Do you want a slap? (Skal du have nogle flade?) she asked.

 

Troels decided it was time to leave. Well, I need to leave! (Nå, jeg er nødt til at smutte!) He sat down beside his friend Jakob. How did it go? (Hvordan gik det?) questioned Jakob (spurgte Jakob). Surprisingly, it went totally awful (Jeg er overrasket over, at det gik så forfærdeligt) said Troels, it doesn't make sense! (Det giver ikke mening!) Jakob laughed at him, you are piss poor at speaking to women! (Du er pissedårlig til at snakke med kvinder) But I´ll cheer you up! (Men jeg skal nok muntre dig op).

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